JOHN F. PENROSE, M.D. (1958-2023)
Obituary: https://www.tributearchive.com/obituaries/26978992/dr.-john-frederick-penrose
Tribute from John's little brother
John F. Penrose was known by many different roles and names. Brother. Husband. Dad. G-Dude. Funcle. Doctor. Patent holder. Coin collector. Emergency Department Head. Grill Master. Professor. Patriots Fan. Big Stack. Eagle Scout. Scrabble aficionado. Veteran. Mood Changer. And many more.
John was eleven years older than I am which you might think the age gap was large enough to prevent us from being close. When he was 17, John joined the military and moved to Colorado. He wrote letters home and addressed some of the letters to me – his 6-year-old brother. Who does that? What 17-year-old takes time to write to such a younger sibling? I looked forward to getting the mail at an early age, which is probably a big factor in my wanting to deliver mail when I retire. John was in the military, newly married, and building a life in a new state. Yet he found time to connect to his little brother, in a way very few people could.
Fast forward a few years when John was 23, in medical school in Kansas City. He came home often and always made time for his little brother. He tried to teach me to drive a manual transmission car – his Volkswagen beetle. I say tried, because I wasn’t a great student – but John was always forgiving and encouraging. The skills would serve him well in his chosen profession.
We didn’t have much growing up, and John was always cognizant of how hard it could be to do without. When I was a junior in high school, before the Internet was readily available to most people, I received a brochure in the mail to go to summer school at Harvard. They were simply looking to collect money from students mostly, and I applied even though there would be no way my family could ever afford to send me. When I got accepted, I thought that was cool, and would be the end of it. When John heard, he said he was going to find the way to pay for the expenses to let me go. My sisters also contributed to the fund to help me go, but John made it a reality for me. He was always so generous.
John was a firm believer in “work hard, play hard”. He worked extremely hard to be the best doctor – even landing a research fellow position at Harvard. I joked that he was following in my footsteps, and although he had every reason to remind me that he was the reason I even got to go to Harvard, he never did. He would just laugh and ask how we should spend his day off.
He played as hard as he worked. John took his young wife Kathy (aka “Red”) on cruises when he could. John could brighten the mood in every room he entered, and the cruise ships were no exception. He could turn a quiet gathering of folks on the sundeck of a cruise ship into a rousing party with a conga line in a matter of minutes. The cruise lines dubbed him a “mood changer” and made offers for steeply discounted or even free cruises to him and his family. He was even scheduled to go on a cruise when tragedy befell him in December.
Another aspect of his mood changer persona was his performance in a casino. He enjoyed playing blackjack and other players as well as dealers loved having him there. On numerous occasions, he would get up three thousand, ten thousand, and once even up forty thousand dollars. Invariably, he’d continue to play until he only had a nominal profit or broke even. Despite that, you couldn’t help be energized by him in his element. A buddy of mine and I went to the casino one night and John led us in turning $400 into $4,000. We dubbed John “Big Stack” that night because his stack of chips was so big we got kicked off the $10 table because he was betting too much. And of course, John kept very little of the winnings, and instead gave most of it to my buddy and me.
John was a renowned host of our large family vacations. He worked tirelessly to save up for rental houses and food for our large brood of 60-100 people. He loved to cook out on the grill and just hang out with family. I’ve told this story many times before, but it’s one of my favorites so please indulge me for a moment. One of my favorite parts of family vacation was going to the store with John to get that evening’s food for dinner. We’d get the meat, sides, snacks, drinks, and anything else we needed for dinner. I would often bring him two different kinds of desserts or drinks and ask, “Should we get this one? Or this other one?” John’s answer was always the same – “We get this one AND this other one.” And so, we always got both. His generosity knew no bounds.
John was known to use the expression, “I’m not dead yet,” especially when at the casino and he might be down on his luck. I believe one of the best ways to honor John’s spirit is to emulate his kindness and generosity. I plan to be more like him, and I encourage you to as well. Make that connection to a young person in your life. Be patient and kind in teaching others. Help others achieve things they thought impossible. Be the mood changer in the room. Bet big and enjoy the moment. Replace the “ors” in your life with “ands”. If everyone were to do this, then is some way, we can ensure that John will remain still not dead yet.
- Love you brother, with all my heart.
John’s little brother